How Many Sets Should Busy Parents Do to Build Muscle? (Not as Many as You Think)

This is probably the thing I’ve questioned more than any other aspect of health.

…and this goes for my time as an “athlete,” when I was just learning about health, and as a coach.

How many sets should I be doing to look jacked?

…or toned?

…whatever.

I’ve followed some very prominent voices in the health space. I’ve looked up all the research. And I’ve still changed my approach about 100 times.

Until now.

I was always chasing the “right” answer—but every result or recommendation failed because I wasn’t viewing it through the lens of my own lived experience.

Once I started factoring in my real life—my struggles, my schedule, my goals—everything clicked.

And that’s what I want to share with you.

But first, let me take you back for a second.

Where I Started

When I first started working out, I followed random workouts from Men’s Health and Bodybuilding.com. Just a mix of stuff with no real purpose or plan.

I couldn’t tell you if they worked because:

• I wasn’t tracking anything

• I didn’t know what success looked like

Then came CrossFit.

CrossFit is basically exercise racing—lift heavy, go fast, everything is scored.

Once I started tracking progress, I saw improvement in some areas… but others lagged behind.

So what did I do?

What most people do:

I added more.

I was doing classes 4–6 times a week, then squeezing in extra squats or shoulder work afterward.

The volume was insane.

If “more = better,” I should’ve exploded with muscle.

But I didn’t.

I leaned out—mostly from the high cardio demands—but my joints were wrecked. I was always sore. I never had enough time.

So I stopped.

I pivoted to more bodybuilding-style training—but still brought the “more is better” mindset.

This time, I chased the so-called “sweet spot”: 12–20 sets per muscle group per week, as most experts recommended.

And it worked…

…until it didn’t.

My workouts got too long. I started feeling constantly drained. I needed to start taking deload weeks—recovery weeks with less volume and intensity—just to keep going.

That was a red flag.

Time for a Different Approach

I stopped outsourcing the analysis.

I dug into the research myself.

But I did it differently this time.

I looked at it through the lens of my life:

• My kid wakes me up at midnight complaining of a bellyache

• I’ve got a 9–5 job

• My stress and sleep are inconsistent

• I’m not 22 anymore

• And I don’t recover like a pro athlete

So the question became:

What does the science say… when real life is part of the equation?

The Science Behind Training Volume

Muscle growth (hypertrophy) comes down to four main factors:

• Mechanical tension (lifting heavy enough to challenge the muscle)

• Volume (the total amount of work you do)

• Effort (how close you get to failure)

• Recovery (how well your body rebuilds between sessions)

Volume is usually measured as: sets × reps × load

But what really matters is productive sets—sets hard enough to stimulate growth, but not so many that they break down your recovery.

The Problem With “More = Better”

A 2020 meta-analysis by Grgic et al. reviewed 15 studies on training volume.

They found the “sweet spot” for growth was 12–20 sets per muscle group per week.

BUT…

• Results tapered after 10–15 sets

• And that only worked if recovery was dialed in

Grgic et al., 2020 (PMC6950543)

And as a busy parent—when is your recovery ever dialed in?

You don’t sleep perfectly. You don’t always eat enough. Your work and life stress can spike at any time.

So why build a training plan around something you can’t control?

Why not build a plan around what’s real?

Especially when the research shows you can still get great results with less.

So, if I'm focused on not wasting time, I don't really need to go over 10 sets per muscle group per week it seems.

Volume suggestion-check!

...but that doesn't seem like much.

What Matters More Than Volume? Effort.

A 2023 meta-analysis by Robinson et al. made it clear:

• Muscle growth increases the closer you train to failure

• Volume only works if you’re actually pushing hard

• Strength was less sensitive—but hypertrophy needs real effort

PubMed 38970765

Which makes sense as I reflect on my journey because the higher volume I went, the less I could push each set.

Effort Drops Fast

Here’s something most people miss:

Your ability to push a set to failure drops very quickly after you’ve done it a few times.

Think about a 100-yard sprint.

You could give it 100% the first time.

Maybe a decent time the second.

By the third or fourth?

Your output tanks—even if you’re trying hard.

That’s how lifting works too.

So the more sets you do, the lower the quality of each one becomes.

This Low-Volume Approach Doesn’t Just Apply to Sets—It Applies to Reps Too

Only the last 5 reps near failure actually stimulate muscle growth.

The rest?

Just added fatigue—and recovery debt.

You’re adding fatigue without adding results.

That’s why I recommend:

• Compound lifts: keep reps under 8

• Isolation lifts: stay under 12

That gives you room to warm up, groove the movement, and push hard when it counts.

If a set isn’t close to failure?

It’s a warm-up.

It doesn’t count.

Everything you do should be recoverable and repeatable—because your next workout depends on it.

You’ll Grow If You’re Getting Stronger

If adding more sets isn’t the answer, then how do you know you’re progressing?

You’re getting stronger.

If your compound and isolation lifts are improving, you’re building muscle.

A few notes:

• Not every lift will go up weekly

• Not every muscle grows at the same rate

• But if some lifts are consistently improving—you’re on track

And if you stall for 4–6 weeks?

Don’t add more sets.

Swap the exercise for a new variation to spark growth.

Example:

• Back squat → front squat → pause squat → back squat again

• You’ll return stronger, more stable, and better conditioned

What I Recommend (And What I See in Clients)

In our coaching program, we typically aim for:

6–10 hard sets per muscle group per week.

Each set is taken within 1–2 reps of failure.

And honestly? That might not be what you’ve been doing.

We lower clients’ weekly volume…

And suddenly, they’re done in 15–20 minutes.

That tells me something:

Their sets weren’t hard enough.

And maybe that’s you too.

I know it was me initially.

I’ve been in the endurance world for years.

I can coast at 70–80% for hours.

But that mindset crept into my lifting.

And it held me back.

Once I started pushing my sets close to failure…

Everything changed.

When you train with real intent, you won’t want to rush your rest.

You can’t.

And that rest time actually matches what the science recommends between sets.

Here’s What a Solid Weekly Plan Might Look Like

3-Day Full Body Split (Best for Most Parents)

• 3 workouts/week (Mon/Wed/Fri)

• 6 exercises/session (chest, back, glutes/hamstrings, quads, shoulders, arms)

• 2 sets per exercise: 1 really hard, 1 to failure

• 1 rest day between sessions

→ Simple, recoverable, effective

💪 4-Day Upper/Lower Split (More Flexibility)

• Upper / Lower / Rest / Upper / Lower

• 5–6 exercises/session

• 2 sets per lift (1 hard, 1 to failure)

→ Slightly more frequency, same total volume

📝 Note: For 99% of people, a 3- or 4-day split is all you’ll ever need to get incredible results.

Why This Works for Busy Parents

Here’s why I love this approach—and why the science backs it:

• You don’t need to “find time” for an hour-long workout

• You can make progress in 30–40 minutes

• You’ll feel better, not beat up

• You can still hit your steps or cardio after

Personally, I’ve been doing 30-minute workouts consistently—and feeling stronger than ever.

Each day, I'm looking forward to my training because I feel recovered. My sleep score on my watch has never been better.

...and the best part is that I'm finding it easier to lean out for summer with less volume.

I don't see a reason to ever go back or beyond the ranges recommended in the research.

I'm not a bodybuilder. I'm a busy parent.

...and so are you.

The Bottom Line

• 6–10 hard sets per muscle/week is the sweet spot

• You don’t need more sets—you need more effort

• Track your strength across compound & isolation lifts

• Swap lifts if progress stalls

• Keep your training simple, intense, and recoverable

So instead of asking:

“Am I doing enough?”

Ask:

“Are the sets I’m doing actually effective?”

“Am I giving this everything I’ve got?”

Want a Plan That’s Both Effective & Efficient?

We’ll build you one for less than $1/day.

Because the best training plan is the one that works with your life—

…and actually gets results.

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