How I Maintain Abs Year-Round (Without Living in the Gym or Giving Up Pizza)

The sustainable approach to core strength that doesn't require obsession or deprivation

I was in Dubai at a photoshoot, feeling proud of my lean physique. Abs showing, arms defined — I thought I had it all figured out.

But then something unexpected happened.

The photographer, someone I'd worked with several times before, pulled me aside with and said concerningly. "I think you might be looking a little too lean, Is everything okay?"

His words caught me off guard. Too lean? Wasn't that the goal? Wasn't that why I was here?

Weeks later, after posting one of my favorite photos from the shoot — one where I looked particularly lean, defined and was so proud of (shown below) — my mom called. "Is everything okay?" she asked, her voice tight with worry (as usual haha). "You just look so... thin."

Those moments shook me. While I was celebrating what I saw as the pinnacle of my discipline and "perfect" physique, the people who cared about me saw something else entirely.

It dawned on me that I'd spent nearly a decade of my life orbiting around food and my body, always chasing that "perfect" physique through methods that left me hungry, irritable, and disconnected from joy — all while believing this was what I was supposed to want.

So how is it that today, at 41 and after having children, I still maintain visible abs year-round — but without the obsession, restriction, or misery?

The answer might surprise you.

These are a couple of the photos from that shoot... all ribs, no boobs, no shape... just skin and bones. Compare that to my body today—strong, healthy, and still defined, but in a way that supports my life rather than consuming it.

The Truth About Sustainable Abs for Women (What No One Tells You)

Let’s be honest: women naturally carry more fat around the midsection. This isn’t a flaw — it’s biology. That extra layer keeps us healthy, protecting our organs and hormones.

And here's something I never saw mentioned in fitness magazines: even people with strong, developed abs don't have them "showing" all the time. When I'm relaxed, sitting on the couch with my kids? There's softness there. Even muscle looks "flabby" when not flexed. Those magazine photos and Instagram posts? We're all flexing, I promise.

Try it. Flex your arm and relax it. Feel and see the difference in your tricep muscle when you tap it with your other hand when it's flexed vs relaxed? Your abs work the same way.

So can you have visible abs as a woman? Absolutely. But there's a cost to maintaining very low body fat levels, and it's worth asking yourself: is that cost worth it for you personally?

For me, maintaining some abdominal definition year-round requires consistency and attention to my habits. I won't pretend it doesn't. But here's the level of leanness I've found sustainable — where I can still live my life, enjoy food, and feel energetic and strong.

To be super clear: I'm talking about having some visible muscle tone and definition in my core — NOT a shredded six-pack with every muscle separation visible. That level of leanness would require far more extreme measures that simply aren't worth it for me (or most women) to maintain year-round.

Here's what maintaining abs DOESN'T require:

• Cutting out entire food groups

• Two-hour gym sessions

• Saying no to every social invitation

• Obsessively tracking every morsel

• Feeling miserable and deprived

• Getting dangerously lean in ways that disrupt your hormones

• Maintaining an unsustainably low body fat percentage

  
  

After years of experimenting with my own body (and helping hundreds of busy women transform theirs), I've discovered that maintaining a strong, defined core comes down to sustainable habits that work with your real life — not against it.

My Personal Non-Negotiables

Here are the actual daily habits that keep my abs visible year-round:

1. Consistent Protein Intake

I don't just "prioritize" protein — I consistently hit my protein targets almost every single day. Not because some diet guru told me to, but because I've noticed that when I consistently eat 25-30g of protein at each meal (around 100g daily), I naturally:

• Feel fuller longer

• Have fewer cravings

• Maintain more muscle definition

• Have more energy throughout the day

This single habit has been more impactful than all the crazy cleanses and diet plans I followed during my modeling years.

2. Strength Over Cardio

The biggest misconception I had during my 30s? That hours upon hours of cardio was the key to definition.

Today, my workout routine consists of just 3-4 strength training sessions weekly, usually 30-40 minutes each. I focus on compound movements and progressive overload — basically, lifting weights that challenge me and gradually increasing the weight over time.

This approach builds metabolism-boosting muscle rather than breaking it down. And the best part? It takes significantly LESS time than all those long, draining cardio sessions I used to do.

3. Walking & Daily Movement

Instead of killer HIIT sessions that leave me exhausted, I walk. That's it. I aim for 7,000-10,000 steps daily, often broken into short walks with my kids or quick breaks between work calls or even on my walking pad (these will have to be calculated in, however).

This gentle approach keeps me active without stressing my body, ramping up my hunger, or requiring a full shower and outfit change every time!

4. The 85/15 Food Balance

I eat whole, nutrient-dense foods about 85% of the time. The other 15%? Whatever sounds delicious in the moment.

Last weekend, that looked like pizza with my family on Friday night and an ice cream date with my boys on Sunday. I enjoyed both fully — no guilt, no "making up for it" afterward.

This balanced approach means I never feel the restrict-binge cycle that dominated my modeling years. It's the reason I've maintained my physique consistently rather than cycling through dramatic gains and losses.

This 85/15 balance works for my body and goals, but your personal balance might look different. Some of my clients find they maintain their desired definition with a 80/20 approach, while others might need closer to 90/10. The key isn't finding the "perfect" ratio—it's discovering what sustainable balance gives YOU the results you want while still allowing you to enjoy your life.

Finding your personal sweet spot is exactly what I'll explore more with you below in the "Cost-Benefit Question" section.

What About the Mental Game?

The most important shift I made wasn’t in my workouts or diet — it was in my mindset. After my second baby, standing in my closet crying because my workout leggings wouldn't fit, I realized something had to change — not just in my approach to fitness, but in how I viewed my worth.

Today, I maintain abs year-round because I've found sustainable habits that honor my body, not because I'm chasing external validation. Some days, those abs are more visible than others — and that's perfectly okay.

This is me now — strong, healthy, and defined, but in a completely sustainable way that supports my life as a mom rather than consuming it. This is what sustainable fitness really looks like:

As you can see, I still have definition, but I also have the softness and curves that come with a healthy, balanced approach to fitness. This isn't about perfection — it's about finding what works for YOUR body and life.

I've discovered that creating sustainable abs for women actually requires a strong mental core first:

• Believing your worth isn't tied to your appearance

• Trusting your body's signals rather than fighting against them

• Finding joy in movement rather than using it as punishment

• Creating an approach to nutrition that doesn't trigger obsession

  
  

Can YOU Get Leaner? The Answer Is Yes.

If you're wondering whether you can get leaner and stronger, maybe even see some abdominal definition — the answer is absolutely YES.

But the real questions are:

• How lean is right for YOUR unique body?

• What approach will work with YOUR busy life and schedule?

• How can you achieve it WITHOUT counting every calorie or living at the gym?

These are questions that can't be answered by a one-size-fits-all plan or Instagram workout — they need to be tailored to your individual body, metabolism, hormones, and lifestyle.

Here's what I've learned after helping hundreds of women, especially busy moms in their 30s and 40s, transform their bodies:

Your body isn't broken. Your metabolism isn't shot because you've had children or turned 35. And you definitely don't need another crash diet that leaves you hangry and miserable.

What you need is personalized guidance to develop an approach that works WITH your unique body and busy life, not against them. Small, consistent actions that fit into your real life will always beat perfect plans that you can only follow for a week.

My clients are consistently shocked to discover that eating MORE protein, doing LESS cardio, and letting go of food guilt actually creates the results they've been chasing for years through much more extreme measures.

For example, Sarah (name changed), a 38-year-old mom of three, came to me after trying everything from keto to intermittent fasting without lasting results. Within six months of following our personalized plan, she not only lost 15 pounds but finally saw definition in her core for the first time since having kids—all while eating more food than she had in years and only working out 3 times per week.

The Cost-Benefit Question

Getting extremely lean comes with tradeoffs. For some women, very low body fat means disrupted periods, mood swings, or constant food thoughts. For others, it means missing family dinners or social events. The question becomes: what level of leanness actually enhances your life rather than diminishing it?

Through one-on-one coaching, we can find YOUR sweet spot — where you feel confident in your body and still fully participate in your life. For some women, that's visible abs; for others, it's simply feeling strong and confident in their clothes without fixating on their midsection.

The Bottom Line

Defining and strengthening your core isn't about shrinking yourself or following punishing regimens. It's about finding sustainable habits that honor your body while still allowing you to live a full, joy-filled life.

Your journey won't look exactly like mine, but I promise it doesn't have to feel like warfare with your own body. You CAN get leaner, stronger, and more confident without sacrificing your physical and mental health in the process.

Ask yourself:

• Do you find yourself starting over with your fitness routine every Monday?

• Have you tried multiple diet approaches but can't seem to find one that sticks?

• Do you feel like you're doing "all the right things" but not seeing results?

• Are you tired of feeling guilty about food choices?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you're not alone—and it's not your fault. Most approaches to fitness for busy moms simply aren't designed for the realities of your life.

If you're ready to find out what's possible for YOUR unique body and create a sustainable approach that works with your busy mom life, I'd love to connect. Apply for 1:1 coaching via the link here and let's create your personalized plan for sustainable results.